A Peek into the World of a Secret Dreamer

So after my last post, Two more friends passed. I havent been on here for that reason, as well as plenty other, i just got back from the hospital myself last night. it makes me wonder how life really is. I saw this poor woman, crying so bad, for hours waiting right next to me for a room. and i actually got a room before her, i felt so bad, i wanted to cry myself. I hope she is doing ok. I have no idea who she is or was, but i really hope she is doing better. Its really fucked up how the world works. And how mean and uncaring people can be. I’m going to post stories later. Does anyone understand where i am coming from?

 So… i just got news my brother (best friend) passed… I’ve lost so many people… I’m kinda numb right now… all my life I’ve said goodbye, to family, friends, lovers. Everyone i have ever cared about, I’ve said goodbye to, at least once. Because of moving, or someone passing away. And i don’t know how to handle it anymore. It hurts, like I’m sure a lot of you know. I’ve sure a lot of you (if not all) have lost someone special to you, one way or another. Just gets tiring i guess. I really hate the words “good bye” i can’t take how strong the hold is those words have on me. You know? Ha i doubt anyone is reading any of this, but it does help me to write it, either way. You know the more i go through this site, the more i see the beauty that all these people (and others) have captured, i see what hard work people put into what they love, and the amazing art that comes from it.  … I guess even if the writing is helping, nothing will take the pain away… Not even tears. My mind is whirring. I don’t know what to say anymore. Even talking about the beautiful things on this site aren’t distracting me enough. … Bad day… 

 I titled it “Why?” … Why???? i’m not sure.. but it was a start. 

For years she was the one in need of saving, in need of love. But now she finds herself lost in another’s problems. She’s drunk from their pain. Her heart is swimming in a river of tears. She’s drowning in lies. The worst part is she can’t do anything about it except stress herself out to the point of death… 

Any ideas on where i should or maybe could go with this? Or maybe you think it’s a dud story? Let me know your critiques please. It would really help a lot.